dear mr. washing machine no. 2

your temperamental nature and audacious refusal to showcase the time has caused me much grief and aggravation.

kindly explain why after letting you run till you stopped at whim, albeit without the time on display, my load was half-dry and did not smell any cleaner. mind you, this was despite the inexplicable disappearance of the washing powder i'd thoughtfully fed you.

it would be nice if you notified me prior to locking the door that you were not in the mood to do laundry. i would have understood, being also never in the mood to do laundry.

furthermore, i would appreciate if you did not rally dryer no. 2 to join you in protest. allow me to bring to your attention that he spat out my wet clothes in half the time i had set. and possibly at half the temperature too. i pride myself on my patience and long sufferance but it is a little more than i can handle when you both decide to revolt simultaneously. if you must fail to work, have the consideration to do so on two separate occasions.

allow me to apologise for the swift kick to your side, i had not intended for K to injure you when he came to my assistance. i trust you are insured for the extent of the dent. if not, you have little chance of claiming against K in tort. i am probably not the first to tell you that the swedish*system is unsympathetic to victims of assault.

i think it would be appropriate for us not to see each other for awhile. trust the desire for some time out is mutual. future use will be done by my proxy in approximately three weeks. i hear he is good at laundry and perhaps you two will get along better.

no hard feelings,

disgruntled resident with sopping wet laundry