confused cuisine

was feeling adventurous and against our better judgment, we decided to try a japanese restaurant in ostermalmstorg. i say 'against our better judgment' because some guai lo had raved about it and called it authentic, which means it probably wasn't. so as we tried not to turn up our stubby asian noses at the prospect of pseudo-authentic japanese food, there was also niggling doubt at the back of our minds but figured it was worth a shot all the same. the result: cuisine of the most confused kind.

problem #1: asian-looking lady boss who didn't speak a single oriental language. at the door, i'd asked for a table for 2 in japanese, only to be met with a blank stare. i tried again in chinese, same reaction. giving up, i resorted to sign language and held out two fingers, she got the picture. granted, i can't say she didn't speak a single oriental language because i only speak chinese and a smattering of jap, plus malay but she didn't look malay. so maybe she speaks korean or thai. maybe.

problem #2: it was not japanese short-grain rice and hence it was not sushi by any stretch of imagination. have you heard the one about how each piece of sushi should have exactly 99 grains of rice and how expert sushi chefs train for years to get it right with one graceful swoop and shape? yeah. well these little monsters had about 200+ grains each. fake sushi FAIL.

(not) problem: this was the only dish i liked. spring rolls are cheap asian food and they seemed to accept that they were cheap asian food. simple. no pretensions, not trying too hard to be japanese (cf pseudo-sushi above) and upfront about its humble origins. cool.

problem #3: mystery meat dish machiam united nations. there was the mystery meat, which the restaurant can be forgiven for. even closing one eye and letting the meat pass as japanese, what in the world was the kimchi doing on the plate? and my national flower???! it was probably unintentional but i don't go to a japanese restaurant expecting to have a tri-nation plate. good in theory, bad in practice.

but the mysterious origins of the lady boss were later revealed when i recognised the obscure chinese dialect she was speaking and spoke to her in mandarin (why didn't she understand my initial request for a two-top?) and then she became noticeably friendlier and even offered us tea! so we scored some free tea (hey, it was the good stuff! the type mixed with rice grains that you can only find in japan!) and she even refused our tip because she mistook us for poor students. which was sweet :) so hmm, chinese solidarity > my prejudice towards non-japanese run japanese restaurants? the food was passable if you're not too discerning, or if your idea of asian food is kung pow chicken and co. but sorry, my atas palate was none too pleased, the only thing i liked was the tea.