kitchen envy

am overwhelmed with envy whenever i read food blogs. they're terrible for my self-esteem because i end up feeling extremely inadequate. it always begins that way, that latent self-loathing bubbling up to the surface, and hot on its heels comes self-delusion (heyyy, i can do that too!) and then i bite off more than i can chew while i entertain these fancy schmancy mental images of myself effortlessly whipping up delectable dinners that are michelin magnets.

accidentally promised to do nothing but cook and clean when i descended on leuven last summer. i swore to feed and fatten (him, not me!) with grace and ease, eagerly filling my suitcase with cooking books and recipes cut from trashy magazines. "how hard can it be?" i'd scoffed.

ten weeks later, my limited repertoire remained limited. the only semi-productive thing i'd done was to buy 1.5kg of mystery meat because it was cheap (and pushing expiry), although i don't think we ever finished it. i couldn't cook, i couldn't clean, i couldn't even make charsiew from a packet. in the end, my liability status became all to obvious and i was banished to amsterdam where i had much fun stocking up on fresh fruit. because, what else do people visit amstie for?

one year on, while on self-imposed exile here in stockholm, i'm no closer to self-sufficiency.

what a pity :)