dear beautiful

body of mine,

i love you to bits but there's something i feel compelled to draw to your attention.

as much as i appreciate the sartorial advantage that not having to bundle up in my heavy-duty winter coat affords me, it's vaguely worrying and undoubtedly ridiculous that i'm flouncing around in a flimsy cardigan, unperturbed by the frigid chill (3deg celcius at last consultation).

while i applaud your hyper-efficiency, would you be so kind as to cease overcompensating for my being accustomed to living one degree fifteen north of the equator for the past 22 years? i understand it's tempting to immediately store whatever i send your way as insulation for the impending winter but, believe you me, i much rather bundle up and look like frosty's freckled cousin than to look like the michelin man's twin without a coat.

alternatively, you might wish to consider increasing your metabolic rate to generate heat. i'm open to similar compromise, but most certainly and without further ado, this sudden fat formation has to stop.

best wishes,

the inhabitant