house guests

was talking with A.Mc over punch at S' on friday and he mentioned how he'd been the fortunate beneficiary of much european hospitality, having stayed with friends, friends' friends on his travels around europe. on a smaller scale, having been the houseguest of a parisian family friend in paris last month, i know how blessed i felt when i stayed with them. my host even gave me a stack of unvalidated metro tickets to use when i explored the city on my own! every detail was seen to without being stifling. i don't know how they did it but it was a perfect balance of time together and personal time/space, without me feeling like i was intruding on their privacy. i'd have time to myself after breakfast (before sight-seeing with them), after lunch (we'd come back to the apartment and everyone does their thing till tea-time) and after dinner (they were upstairs by 2200h and i'd have the run of the downstairs).

it got me thinking about european hospitality and how being a houseguest is relatively uncommon back home. maybe it's the space constraint - i don't know many families on our tiny isle who have an extra room! every bit of space is utilised and an empty room for visiting guests just seems to be a luxury few can afford. so, hypothetically, if a friend of mine wanted to visit, there physically isn't space for him/her unless he/she doesn't mind the sofa. but i've heard from a sofa regular that the love of my life runs at the door wanting to be let in the whole night, so might not make for the most comfortable of sleeps. but more than just physical space, i think the home's very personal and not somewhere i'd want people over. maybe it's more my parents but they'd balk at the thought of a stranger around the house because the home's private. part of me attributes it to an asian conservatism, and the other part to lack of contact with the outside world. they don't actually have friends who'd stay with them because their friends aren't backpacking students on a budget. or their friends wouldn't impose their kids on them. and they wouldn't make the first move and invite someone because it's just not entrenched in their psyche. also, we don't have a guest room.

that said, all this doesn't stop me from dreaming of one day living somewhere with a guest room at the ready for friends blown eastwards. that'd be nice :)